Mistress Muffin Top!

Hey hey! Congrats on the move! You live in a house? With whom? So I want to visit. I was thinking probably the weekends of either the 17th and 18th or the 24th and 25th...What do you think? I can also do later in the month if need be..........or the next month....

So Mr. director man is thinking of filming in Australia if Cate Blanchett refuses to move from her family for two years. The deal still stands about my employment in the movie. I'm just worried about the technicalities of a Visa and whatnot. Have you seen Secretary? I feel you should. He asked me at our last meeting if I wanted to meet with him and the woman who wrote the screenplay to Secretary to discuss my life. He wants to see if she sees the potential of making a cable mini-series based on my life. If this were to happen, I would get financially rewarded and be an essential part of creating a cable mini-series. The worst that could happen is that I meet someone who is clearly really awesome.

Here's to hoping life turns out well....let's plan a weekend, girl.

Philllllay

Hello Pamela!

Let me update you on my life. I recently moved to South Philly, which is why I have been so MIA on the internet. Moves are probably the worst ever, but this move was probably the worst of the worst ever. We got to the house with the movers and it was completely trashed and not ready for us. Basically it was the worst but people were nice and it worked out ok. Although a lot of things are still broken. But I'm hoping they will be fixed soon.

The neighborhood is funny because it's in the process of gentrifying. Everybody seems pretty nice. But the white people don't really talk to the black people. I am hoping to become bffs with this 12 year old kid named Ramik. He is my fave person on the block so far.

In other news a mini-tornado ripped through these parts last week and took down all the old trees. It was crazytown. I went to a park in West Philly where there were tons of giant trees down everywhere. The roots were taller than a person. There was one tree that took up a pipe with it. Did you get the storm in NYC?

I also have gotten pet cats. Kind of on a whim but kind of not. I hope you are not allergic so that you still come visit me. They are the nicest cats. They are two brothers, 7 years old, and sweeeethearts. They were going to be put to sleep and had been in the shelter that my sister works at forever. But I saved them!

Love love love love love

Megan

PAMPAMPAM

I am so exited for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!

I work M-F 9-5 BUT I would be willing to take off some days for you. Clare is coming to visit for July 4 but all my other weekends are open.

PLEAseeeee commmmmeeee visitttttt

I will write more but I am just overly excited for you and I just told my roommate all of your news. Also I am hungover.

BYE

Oh, the things that have happened...

Congratulations on your grandparents. Enjoy them. I don't have any anymore. I hate you.

So a few things have happened lately. I had a meeting with Mr. Director Man yesterday, and he told me, "Great news! We have Cate Blanchett!." And I was all, "Great, so what does this mean?" And he said that made him believe he should be able to get a cast that will fund a movie and starting pre-production in January of next year after his baby is born and alive for a little bit.

Then I asked, "Okay, so............me?" And he said, "Well, it's just a matter of getting you to where we're shooting," "That's fine, I just need to get my expenses paid for..." "Oh, you'll be on salary. It's also a matter of which position you would find most interesting." Then he listed the jobs I can chose from ranging from his assistant to the Set PA, to whatever, and then I was all, "What about now?" And he said he finished the first draft of what I'm doing, will do a re-write, will go to me for the next draft if I want to do it. And I was all, "well, you know I'm really committed to this, I just don't want other opportunity to pass me by..."

So basically it means I have the summer free and November/December or something to start doing shit that's hopefully paid that hopefully leads to me being on a fucking movie set. I'm happy I got it all out in the open because now all my questions are cleared up.

Now the question is Amy's bread...The Dungeon is still very up and down (now we're wondering if I look "too intimidating" in my pics), but today I was told I had to remove my nail polish. I told her I couldn't, and she gave me a speech about how I have to meet "mid ground," and I just smiled and nodded, and decided my last day is July 3rd.

This is very scary for me because I'm going into the uncertain. I still truly believe I will start to find my grove at the dungeon, and it will work out, but I could be fucked. That being said, I'm committing myself to living life again. That being said...

I WANT TO VISIT YOU ONE WEEKEND IN JULY!!!! What's your schedule like? Are you M-F 9-5? Let's figure this out. I want to see you again!

Love,

Pam spanks

Oh Grandmothers

I am giving my grandmother computer lessons. It is slow goings. Basically every lesson we check her email. That takes up the whole time. Today though, I think we had a mini breakthrough when I explained that attachments are things like pictures that you clip onto an email - that's why there is a paper clip next to it on the email. The whole rest of the lesson she just kept saying, "I didn't know about the clip!"

She also has this elderly Jewish grandmother habit of advising me about my life, which I resent thoroughly. I hate it when people give me career advice when they have no idea what they're talking about. I don't know when the last time she has tried to find a job was, but it was probably over 20 years ago. I also don't know the last time she's tried to find a job in social work or theater, but it was probably NEVER. So I tend to get a little upset.

Sometimes I just sing this song to myself all day:



You should not straighten your hair. I would be so upset. If I hear you have straightened your hair I will come up to New York and smack some sense into you.

You should probably start your own dungeon. And movie studio. A dungeon movie studio?

Did you know...

Megan, did you know I'm a 32D? Yes, yes I am. A jewish lady looked at me, touched my tits, and produced a bra that fit perfectly. I am officially a D cup.

The Dungeon is going slow again. They want me to straighten my hair. I'm irritated by that request. I am a curly haired person and I have a hard time believing these slobs with small dicks are making any sort of value judgment on the texture of my hair. I had a client today who created a four page script for our role play. It's the second time I saw him. I got to kick him in the balls really hard.

Have you read King Kong theory? I think you'd like it. It's a radical feminist text meant only for awesome people like me and you. She makes interesting points about Marriage versus sex work. Now I'm reading the Story of O and it is the opposite. It's erotica about a woman who gives "full submission" to her lover. I'm having a hard time swallowing it. I feel hypocritical.

I'm officially not allowed to talk about mister Director Man until I see mister Director man again.

Love and spanks,

Pam

BSDPAM

Hello dearest,

An introduction:

For the past three years I have experienced an aching in my left side. I recently went to the doctor's to have it diagnosed. After performing several blood tests, EKGs, etc, he sent me to a specialist. The specialist was the best in his class. Unlike the doctor, he could diagnose my condition by just laying a hand on my left side.

"There's nothing...physically...wrong with you," he said, "Only that your heart is hurting for someone...perhaps someone you haven't seen in a long time?"

"How can that be?" I gasped.

"Is there anyone...anyone perhaps that you knew...a long while ago...but who has since...disappeared?"

I sat and thought for a moment. Then it came to me...

"PAMELAAAAAAAAA" I screamed. I ran from the doctor's office without even thanking him, as if something had returned to me that I had buried away, a name I had long since uttered, a name that sprung to my lips and will never be forgotten.


Ok for real, my life is pretty ok right now! I am working at an abortion fund and it is a temporary job through October. Basically it is a great job but very hard sometimes. Right now we are testing a new phone system and it is very crazy. Women are very angry at me. A lot. Because they don't have enough money for their abortion and they have been calling us for two days straight. Add that to the fact that we don't really have enough money to fund their abortions, and you get the idea.

I promise on this blog to not write any super depressing stories (all the time?!) but basically sometimes I am depressed when I come home because all I'm trying to do is help get a woman who was violently raped have her abortion and some doctor is being an ASSHOLE and not SIGNING THE FUCKING MEDICAID FORMS SO THAT MEDICAID WILL PAY FOR HER ABORTION BECAUSE SHE WAS RAPED.

Also I can't help most people I talk to right now, just because we don't have enough money. It really sucks. It really really sucks when I've run out of money and a woman is crying. That is probably the worst. Probably the worst ever. Every woman deserves to have an abortion if she chooses to but apparently that is not the world that we live in.

Sigh.

It's ok though. I have some bigger life decisions coming up like whether I should move to Boston to be with C once this job is over. So that isn't that stressful to me right now but it will be soon.


Sooooooooo
Today I bought a $1 hotdog and a rainbow dress to make me feel better. It worked.

Miss you.